Day of Bleach
by Xamusel - Gamma 11
Summary: Rewrite in progress
1. Prologue

**A/N: This was an idea that hit me while I was browsing the Questionable Questing forums. I was hoping to work on a story where I (as a Self-Insert) would go about cleaning up messes in the multiverse as a troubleshooter character. However, this hit me instead, ironically enough.**

**I hope to give you all a decent time as you read this story. Until the first chapter, everyone. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Day of Bleach**  
_by Xamusel_

* * *

Prologue

* * *

I was awakened by an alarm clock I never expected to hear in my room, blaring its evil ringing in my left ear. I didn't even bother opening my eyes as I slammed a fist down on the infernal device, before I began opening my eyes and seeing the ceiling above—

Wait, this didn't look right. I normally wear glasses, which is for bad eyesight. Why do I not have any trouble seeing without glasses on?

Suddenly, I hear street traffic outside my bedroom window, which made me wonder what was going on right about now. I live in the _woods_, fer cryin' out loud! How can there even _be_ street traffic?!

As if life was actively trying to screw me over, I heard someone running over to my room and opening the door, exclaiming to me, "Ichigo, congratulations! You're a big brother! Your mother, Masaki, gave birth to twin girls!"

If I wasn't already laying down, I'd have fainted right then and there. I was _Kurosaki Ichigo_?! That makes absolutely _zero_ sense! However…

I guess I would like to be a big brother… Heaven knows that I dislike being the little brother in my family all the time. Still, I better figure out if it's the twins that canonical Ichigo was big brother to, because I don't want to be stuck in what amounts to Bleach In Name Only. "Otou-san," I asked, "what are their names?"

"Yuzu and Karin, Ichigo," Shiba "Kurosaki" Isshin answered. "I know it's a lot to take in, son, but this is good for us all. They were born extremely healthy, and they are currently waiting to meet you at the hospital, where your mother is still."

I nodded in understanding, before I decided to get out of bed. I got up and out of bed, with Isshin _thankfully_ giving me some privacy to get changed. As he closed the door, I walked over to the dresser and pulled out a clean outfit for someone that was… apparently four years old. I think my life really went to crap right about now.

* * *

About an hour later, Isshin and I were inside Masaki's hospital room, looking at Yuzu and Karin with such glee in our faces. I wasn't sure what Isshin's thought process was, but I was pretty happy to be an older brother, especially since I was a younger sibling in my prior life. Of course, I had to keep from mentioning it, that I was not supposed to be in Kurosaki Ichigo's body.

I had to look at my reflection in a mirror to confirm that I was indeed posing as Kurosaki Ichigo, or at least in his body, before I did anything utterly stupid. I don't know why I was stuck in this universe, but I knew it needed to be taken care of quickly, to be sure.

I looked at Yuzu and Karin in their sleep, apparently having had their fill by now, before I resolved to myself that I was not going to let anyone take away this happy moment from me. I would be the protector in this family, much like canon!Ichigo was meant to be, only I'd do everything I could to stop Ywhach from carrying out his plans of revival.

***ba-BUMP***

"Grk!" I gritted my teeth at that point.

"Ichigo, is something wrong?" Masaki asked me… dammit, I need to address her by 'mother' or any equivalents soon. Before I could deny that there was something wrong with me, however—

"**Hey, King, care to close your eyes for a bit?"** a distorted version of Ichigo's older voice asked me… uh-oh. I close my eyes momentarily, before I hear his voice again. **"Okay, you can open your eyes again."**

I snapped my eyes open at that point, seeing myself on the side of a skyscraper, much like Ichigo would be seeing this in his own version of the Inner Wo—

"**Welcome to your Inner World, kid,"** the Zanpakuto spirit, who was invisible until right before he said that, told me with a jovial smile, before his face became like that of post-Ywhach waking up Ichigo, frown and all. **"Well, your copy of Kurosaki Ichigo's Inner World, at least."**

…yikes! I don't want to be on the bad end of a Zanpakuto spirit… but what can I say in my defense?

"**Relax, kid,"** the Zanpakuto spirit then told me. **"I'm not going to be bringing the real Ichigo back to his body, since it's a surefire plan for disaster. You see, no matter what I try, it won't work. I checked so many times… he's gone."**

I blinked rapidly for a few seconds. How the heck did that happen?

As if reading my thoughts, the Zanpakuto spirit decided to elaborate. **"Here's what happened, kid. Kurosaki Ichigo was going through his parents' things in their bathroom when he found a pill bottle that was open. It wasn't supposed to be there, that pill bottle. It was almost empty, except for one pill that was surprisingly chewable. He didn't know that the pill was a soul suicide pill, which was meant to fuel a dangerous Kido-like spell that would summon a compatible power to the person's body."** Wincing, the Zanpakuto spirit added, **"It was only last night that Ichigo-ou took that pill. I'm the only part of his soul left from his father's side of the family. I don't even know if his mother's side has any lingering portions left."**

I nodded in some understanding. I wasn't exactly keen on meeting Ywhach's fragment of his soul inside of Ichigo's body any time soon. Before I could say anything, however, I heard someone around my physical age crying from nearby. "Huh?" I let out. Looking around, I saw the source of the crying behind the Zanpakuto spirit, a young boy (or so I think) with bluish black hair hugging his knees and wearing… absolutely nothing? I flushed upon seeing that. However, before I could do something completely stupid, I walked over to the boy and asked, "Hey, are you alright?"

Before the boy could answer, however, the Zanpakuto spirit coughed into his hand. **"Let's start this from the beginning, kid,"** he said. **"Can either of you hear my name?"** At that point, instead of deafening silence, I heard him say, **"Zangetsu."**

Hearing a gasp from the boy next to me, I could only guess he heard it, too. "Yeah, we heard it," I said, before turning to the other boy. "Right?"

He nodded, before speaking up. "Y-yeah, Zangetsu-san," he said. "I didn't know such a person like you existed… are you a tsukumogami?"

At this point, instead of acting much like in an anime, I facepalmed. "I don't think that's the right way to describe him," I answered.

"**Actually, kid, I guess that's a good way to describe a Zanpakuto spirit,"** Zangetsu told us. **"Believe me, it's hard to explain this to normal people without that simple explanation."** He then walked over to the two of us and knelt down to look the other boy in the face. **"What's your name, kid?"**

"F… Fu… Fujii," he said, putting a hand to his chin. "Fujii Ren."

This time, instead of facepalming again, my eyes widened to the point of comedy as my hand went away from the position it was at earlier. Oh, my _crap_ is this not a good thing! What's _he_ doing here?!

"**Why are you here, young one?"** Zangetsu asked. **"Does this have to do with the pill Ichigo-ou took without knowing about it?"**

Ren nodded, before saying, "I… I was barely formed properly in life, but then… life was cut short on he and I. I was supposed to be in the town of Namimori soon… and then, before I could arrive…" he cried even further into his knees.

"**Do you know what power you hold within you, kid?"** Zangetsu asked him. **"As it stands, we're sorta stumped about how you can even exist without **_**some**_** sort of power."**

Before I could say anything on the subject, Ren nodded, saying, "It's the power of the Ewigkeit formula that binds me to this world. I… I…"

At that point, I finally filtered through what Ren had said, only in the native Japanese instead of my birth tongue of English. _Wait… did he just say 'watashi wa'? That's what girls say… uh-oh._

Apparently, Zangetsu knew about this beforehand, because he merely patted Ren on the head. **"Life sucks, girly, but we all have to make the best of it,"** he said, causing Ren to gasp in surprise. **"What, you thought I wouldn't pick up on it by now? You're a girl, unlike the person whose body you're in now. Just… do us a favor and explain what you can about the Ewigkeit formula? Please?"**

If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that this wasn't Zangetsu in his Hollow form on us. However, he's a lot more polite than normal… what gives?

"O… okay," Ren answered, before answering the questions given. Ewigkeit was a formula that used the life force of a large amount of humans to fuel the power of the Ahnenerbe, AKA Holy Relics that could work as the equivalent of a Quincy wielding the power of a Hollow (which, given the whole Rock, Paper, Scissors thing that Bleach had with regards to the three supernatural soul types, was rather surprising) and a Shinigami as well as their own. However, there was only a small amount of souls that could be absorbed into a person's body at any one time. In effect, unless the person was actually a Hollow or an Arrancar, they weren't able to hold more than about one hundred and fifteen souls of power… or so Ren explained.

"**So, to be absolutely sure, you're saying that a person's not able to hold that much in terms of life force, so they have to use up a bit of it at a time as wisely as possible?"** Zangetsu asked. **"Are we missing anything?"**

Ren shook her head. "I… I want to stop this mess from getting worse," she said. "Please, let me…"

"**Up to King here,"** Zangetsu answered. **"No, really. I'm only rooming here in his soul because of how this whole arrangement works. If you want to be able to help out, then you'll have to take it up with King, Ren-chan."**

Ren looked at me, as if she was a lost puppy that wanted a home… dammit. I hate it when this happens. "Okay, I guess you can stick around," I said. "However, we need to figure out how to give you your own body, to give you a chance to live again."

Ren looked at me with mouth agape, before she stood up and—GAH! PLEASE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

***THUD***

Ouch… she glomped me, didn't she? Wait, why am I in the hospital room again?

"Son, are you okay?" Isshin asked me.

I groaned from the fall to the ground. Fortunately for everyone, Ren didn't show up in the real world, nude as she was… wait. Why was Zangetsu laughing in my head?

* * *

**A/N: Why, indeed... oh well, we'll figure that out later.**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, this is becoming a pain more than I thought possible. Not only is this currently written without an outline, I don't know what the ultimate end game will even be. Meh, what's done is done, or so it is for the time being.**

**Now, to make some things clear for the people coming in from either side of the crossover, I'll be sure to explain things in-story for those who desperately need the information. However, I have to work out a plausible in-universe explanation for everything, especially since most people in-universe are unaware of the differences here. I hope you all can understand that particular issue.**

**Also, at the end of each chapter going forward, I plan to give a review corner from the prior chapters on FFN. This message is to remain the same, regardless of where I post it, even if the review corner is meant to be exclusive to the FFN people. In all honesty, though, I plan to include reviews from both the original site of publication **_**and**_** from FFN (in chronological order). Hope you all understand that.**

**Of course, The Wheel of Fate Is Turning, ever so slowly right now, but how soon until we can see the end result of what's going to happen? I, for one, plan to make sure there's an end result for everyone.**

**With that said? Rebel 1, **_**Action!**_

* * *

**Day of Bleach**  
_by Xamusel_

* * *

Chapter 1: A Trip to the Urahara Shoten

* * *

I knew this was going to be a problem, having to deal with being in a little kid's body at the same time as having a little girl share my soul space, but I didn't know how _much_ of a problem it would end up being. For some reason, the reasonable adults (yes, this ironically included Isshin at this point in time) were unwilling to let me do anything that I knew I could handle at _all_. This included preparing a meal for the whole family of five… even if I knew that Yuzu and Karin were too young to handle eating grownup food yet. Anyway, the point was, they didn't trust me with a kitchen knife to help cook with them… okay, bad example. I never trained in how to use a knife properly at my day job before being reincarnated as Kurosaki Ichigo.

***ahem*** Moving on.

Now, this wasn't to say that I hated being a kid again. For one thing, I could pass off my nearly thirty autistic self as being normal for my age for once. For another, I could actually say that I was doing a good job being the big brother Yuzu and Karin needed, no questions asked. However… Ren's presence in my soulscape was annoyingly obvious whenever I went to sleep in the bed provided for me. She wanted me to play tag with her… on the sideways skyscrapers… while both of us were nude. Ugh…

Yeah, this was going to need to end, and as soon as humanly possible.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't know who would be able to help me out of this predicament, not unless it required me actually searching for the Urahara Shoten. I also didn't know how to ask Ichigo's parents about these things… ugh. I still need to address them as _my_ parents in this instance. Ichigo's dead, end of story.

Still… how do I manage to find the Urahara Shoten at this rate? It's not like I have any memories of going to there in this life, ri—?

"Ichigo?" Masaki-kaa-san interrupted my train of thought. "Did you have a question you wanted to ask your father or myself?"

I turned to face the woman who became my mother, before I decided to ask something that might get me found out if I wasn't careful. "Okaa-san, what's the Urahara Shoten?"

Masaki tilted her head to one side, before she asked, "Why are you asking about that, dear? How do you know what it is?"

I paled slightly from the question, before I figured out a good way to get her to believe me on this. "I heard you and otou-san talk about it yesterday, while I was doing homework in my bedroom," I said. "I'm asking because I wanted to ask the store owner what he could sell me for dealing with certain headaches I'm dealing with."

Suddenly, I felt a mental thwack upside the head by both Ren and Zangetsu, which made me wince in pain. The hell was _that_ for?

'**King, I hope you weren't talking about **_**me**_** in that aspect,'** Zangetsu told me. **'Otherwise, I might have to do some form of **_**training**_** torment on you when you go to sleep next.'**

_No, I wasn't talking about you, Zangetsu,_ I replied in my thoughts. _I was thinking of how the games of nude tag were getting on my nerves._

Ren's comment would've been something else, I know it, but my reply was enough to get her to change her answer. _"I don't have any clothes in here, though,"_ she said.

…now I feel like a moron. I honestly hadn't considered that possibility.

'**You mean you needed clothes the whole time, but were afraid to ask how to get some?'** Zangetsu asked Ren. **'Just imagine yourself wearing something, and the rest will come naturally.'**

"Ichigo?" Masaki-kaa-san got my attention back on her. "I think you might want to go see a doctor sooner than later, especially if you're dea—"

At that point, the house phone rang. Who could _that_ be?

"I'll get it," Masaki-kaa-san said, walking over to the phone. Upon picking up, she said, "Hello… ah, Kisuke-san, what's the matter? I was… you need to see him? What's the matter with him? …oh, okay, I'll bring him over… he was wondering where to find you at, anyway… yes, he was. I'll bring him over right away… thank you for calling us… see you." With that, she hung up the phone.

My mind was reeling from the one-sided conversation I heard from Masaki-kaa-san. Urahara Kisuke knew something was up, it seemed… but _what_? Well, only one way to find out… I have to go over to the shop.

* * *

Fifteen minutes of walking later, we arrived at the Urahara Shoten, which was a sight to behold in person more than it was in manga and anime form… well, okay, maybe in how trashy the place looked on the outside. Did Kisuke not hire anyone to clean the place up? It seriously looked like a warzone took place here.

"Strange," Masaki-kaa-san mused. "Where did this mess come from? I could've sworn it would be a lot cleaner looking than this by now."

At that point, the sliding door to the shop opened up, showing Tessai at the door. "We've been ex… pecting… you… where did this mess come from?" he ultimately asked.

"You mean you didn't know?" Masaki asked him while tilting her head to the side. "What happened here?"

Finally, Urahara showed up from behind the giant that was named Tessai. "Okay, I'm seriously going to consider hiring someone to clean up this mess," he said. "How did it happen without our knowing about it?" He then turned and faced me, a curious look in his eyes. "You Kurosaki Ichigo?" he asked.

I nodded, unsure of how to say otherwise in front of Masaki-kaa-san.

"Okay, good," he said. "Could you please come in the shop? We need to talk… well, without worrying your mother in the process."

Before I could do anything, even so much as letting go of Masaki-kaa-san's arm like I would've done to follow Urahara's instructions, Masaki-kaa-san asked, "What are you implying, Kisuke-san?"

"Nothing dangerous, I can assure you," Urahara answered with a wave of his hand. "I just want to make sure that nothing's going on wrong here. After all, your son is clearly going to need help for whatever troubles you say he mentioned earlier."

Before she could retort, I said, "Okaa-san, I'll be fine… however, could you please give me a bit of money to pay for the needed items here?"

Masaki-kaa-san looked at me as if I'd grown horns… uh-oh. "Are you sure you'll be able to keep the payment down to within the amount I give you, Ichigo?" she asked.

Urahara coughed into his fist at that moment. "I'll send you the bill later, Kurosaki-chan," he told Masaki-kaa-san. "Now, shall we, Ichigo-kun?"

I nodded at that, Masaki-kaa-san allowing me to let go of her arm at this point, before walking on forward. I didn't know what sort of mess I was going to get involved in from that point onward, but it was probably worth it.

…yeah, right.

* * *

Upon entry into the Urahara Shoten, I looked around and saw how everything was in its proper place, which made me wonder what all I was going to get involved with when the canon timeline of Bleach started. It wasn't going to be a pain in the butt if I was properly involved, was it? At the very least, nobody was going to screw up things more than I could, and th—

Suddenly, I saw that Urahara stopped in his tracks in his living quarters. Turning to face me, he asked, "Who are you, and what have you done with Kurosaki Ichigo, boy?"

Instead of reacting like I was playing dumb, I facepalmed. "Okay, _finally_ someone notices that I'm not the original Kurosaki Ichigo," I mutter loud enough for him to hear me.

"What happened?" Urahara questioned me.

"The original Ichigo took a pill that was in his parents' things and got his soul to commit suicide by accident," I said. "I only know about this because I woke up in his body the next day."

"Wait…" Urahara said after a moment of silence. "When did you wake up in his body?"

"Yuzu and Karin were born that day, so I'd say about three months ago," I answered. "Is there anything more you need from me?"

"Hmm…" Urahara let out, as if he was thinking of some insane plan. "I'd like to put you through some humane tests to see what you went through before anything else happens, okay?"

I removed my palm from my face, blinking in surprise, before I answered, "Sure, though there's something I need to discuss with you immediately."

"What would that be?" he asked me.

"I have a girl's soul stuck in my mind, along with someone calling himself a Zanpakuto named Zangetsu," I told him, mentally enjoying his reaction as he suddenly started sweating on his face. "Could you please help with getting both of them out here?"

Urahara began wiping his face with a towel that he produced from within his outfit, before he told me, "It's not possible to eject the Zanpakuto from you, kid. Instead, I'll help with getting this girl's soul out of your mind, though what happens after is up to her."

I could only give Urahara a thumbs up for the answer.

* * *

A few minutes later, Urahara was getting ready to perform his tests with me as the guinea pig. Fortunately for me, he told me what all I was going to go through, which included the part where I had to perform Jinzen without actually having Zangetsu manifested so far. He gave me an Asauchi to test it with, then he had me follow the instructions he gave me, with some… interesting results thrown into the mix.

Although, come to think of it, how did he get his hands on an Asauchi, anyway? Are there more that he never mentioned acquiring?

Finally, the testing was ready to commence. I wanted to get this over with the right way, which meant following the instructions as given. Without much in the way of fanfare, Urahara walked over to grab a clipboard and a pencil off of his desk and began his testing. "You may begin the Jinzen test now, kid," he told me.

With that, I got into position and performed Jinzen, opening my eyes back in the Inner World I had access to. Sideways skyscrapers? Check. Zangetsu in the Inner World? Check. Ren in a leotard? Ch—wait, what?!

"**King, welcome back,"** Zangetsu told me. **"Ready to get Ren-chan out of your body and into her own body as provided outside?"**

"Yeah, though I'm unsure what she wanted to do in a leotard," I told Zangetsu. "I hope there's a good reason for this…"

"**She wanted to practice gymnastics while in your Inner World,"** Zangetsu answered.

"…oh," I said.

"Ne, ne, ne," Ren asked, "do you think I can transfer my skill in gymnastics into my new body?"

Zangetsu and I looked at each other incredulously.

"I can't, can I?" Ren asked, looking down to her feet.

I looked at Ren again, telling her, "I think you can, actually."

"Eh?" Ren let out.

"Yep," I affirmed.

"**Hold up, both of you,"** Zangetsu said. **"When you get a new body again, Ren-chan, you'll be given access to your own Zanpakuto. Just letting you know now, before you try accessing the whole power you currently have, you'll lose that power altogether."**

"Huh?!" Ren cried out.

"**What I mean is, you were being hardwired to use a specific power that would've stuck with you had things gone differently,"** Zangetsu told her. **"Instead, that power's going to King here, though he'll be sure to help you acquire your own version of this power."**

I didn't know that… so Ren's going to lose access to her Ewigkeit power temporarily? Okay, point in our favor, for the time being. How will this affect Mercurius' plans?

…why is it that I heard the snake sneeze from a far distance away?

* * *

**A/N: FINISH!**

**Now, for the review corner as of this upload:**

_**Okay, so I don't know anything regarding Dies but since this is a Bleach SI, will still give it a shot.**_

_**Interesting intro. ~edboy4926**_

**Thank you for giving it a shot, pal. I appreciate that a lot, I truly mean it.**

_**...Were you reading one of Dis Lexic's many 'Outsider Chronicles' fics while working on this? It very much seems to be in a similar styling. ~Takeshi Yamato**_

**As I told you in private, no, I wasn't. Sorry for the confusion.**

_**Hoo, Bleach and Dies Irae. While I quite like the former before Sternritter arc messed it up, Dies Irae is my favorite fandom forever. And technically, Ahnenerbe and Zanpakuto can be said as the same. Except Ahnenerbe still has 2 levels after its 'Shikai', while Zanpakuto only has Bankai, though iirc a Bankai can evolve. Anyway, is the only Dies Irae cast here is Ren? I mean, I can't imagine Yhwach being able to beat even Wilhelm. And what actually happened to her (I see what you did there)? From what I read, she went to Namimori (from Reborn?), got killed, made into pill, Ichigo consumes her, is that right? ~Setsura (over on Questionable Questing)**_

**As I've already replied over on QQ for the review chain that came up with this message, I think I'd better give my answer here for the main point of things. First of all, I'm nixing the Thousand Year Blood War arc, mainly due to how Yhwach would be incapable of properly… actually, whoops, that'd be a spoiler I'm not willing to say yet.**

**Next, Ahnenerbe and Zanpakuto could very well be the same thing, except with a number of differences. For one thing, everyone is born with the potential to use a Zanpakuto (except the Quincies, but that's for another time), while Ahnenerbe are already in existence before the person is even born. In short, though? Ren's comment about a Zanpakuto being like a Tsukumogami is pretty much what an Ahnenerbe is. **

**Okay, for the cast, I'm going to give you a special hint… Yhwach is killed by one of the most unlikely people in Dies Irae. Other than that? Everyone in the game will show up in no time.**

**For what happened to Ren? She was raised for a couple years in Namimori (while having no connection to the events of Katekyo Hitman Reborn at all), then she got killed by someone super crazy as part of an experiment, and **_**finally**_** the experiment found its way to Ichigo's system. -_- You can imagine what happens then.**

_**Setsura here. Looking forward how the story will unfold! ~Shini Kurogane**_

**Thanks, pal. :)**

**Now, I better get back to work on this story's next chapter. Hope you all like this chapter, because I had to do a lot of work to get it right.**

**Until we meet again… farewell.  
~Xamusel**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, time to get back to work on this story, with some words of understanding for you all. Having started this project without reading the Bleach Light Novels, I can imagine a few people are more than likely going to drop this because of how I trust Urahara over Isshin and Masaki at the moment. Don't worry, I'm working to correct that, though I don't plan on retconning anything. I'll be sure to keep you all apprised about the situation.**

**Anyway, in regards to the Bleach Light Novels, I'm not planning to use them completely (if at all). My main source of information is from the manga and **_**maybe**_** a filler arc from the anime. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I'll be doing differently.**

**By the way, for those of you who are possibly wondering, I'll be including a few interlude chapters over the course of the story to explain things from an outside perspective. After all, it's not like I'm going to be the most reliable narrator in existence, right? In fact, one of those very interlude chapters will be coming up in two chapters, give or take. I'm sure you will enjoy the differing thought processes sooner or later.**

**On a separate note, I'll be using foreign words in this story, but I'd nominally include a proper translation above the words if the site will support it. If it doesn't support it, well, the translations will show up after the foreign words in parentheses.**

**Now, then… The Wheel of Fate Is Turning. Rebel 1, **_**Action!**_

* * *

**Day of Bleach**  
_by Xamusel_

* * *

Chapter 2: W4HNT-D (or, Why We Wish We Had Nice Things, Dammit)

* * *

A few minutes after I started performing Jinzen, I woke up from the meditative stance, seeing that Urahara was busy doing some note taking on his end. He didn't notice that I was awake yet, which made sense to me. He was busy with the process of writing down his observations… which suited me just fine. I would let him do that while practicing what Zangetsu told me I needed to do.

With a slight twitch of my body, I started mentally chanting a spell that Zangetsu told me would help with getting Ren-chan out of my mindscape and into the real world. Here we go…

_Béni est le Seigneur, ô mon âme, pendant même que je marche dans la vallée de l'ombre de la mort._ (French for "Bless The Lord, O My Soul, Even As I Walk Into The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death")

"**Not working, King,"** Zangetsu told me. **"I guess it needs to be said out loud for this to even work."**

_Dammit…_ I thought. _How do we get it to work properly in this case?_

"**No idea,"** Zangetsu told me bluntly, **"but we'll figure something out sooner or later."**

At that point, Urahara finished writing down his notes, before he looked at me. "Ah, good, you're out of Jinzen now," he said. "I guess things went well for you, all things considered?"

"Yeah, I think so," I told him. "I wonder, though…"

"You wonder what Jinzen is?" Urahara asked me.

I shook my head in response. "No, sir," I told him. "I was wondering if it's normal for one or more people to be there already."

Urahara's note taking equipment fell out of his slack hands at that point. "What did they look like?" he questioned me with a menacing tone in his voice.

Uh-oh… do I tell him the truth? Or do I withhold information from him? Neither option sounds good right about now… dammit.

Fortunately, as if something was about to go right for me, the door opened up to show Tessai standing there. "Master Kisuke," he said, "Madam Kurosaki's waiting for her son to return to her side."

Urahara blinked a few times, before he cleared his throat by coughing into his fist. "Ah, yes, that's right," he said, his voice turning back to normal. "Well, Kurosaki-kun, it seems like you are off the hook for now. Just know, this is not something you're supposed to have happen to you under normal circumstances. Understood?"

I nodded, before I decided to tell him what he needed to know. "I saw a little girl about my age with bluish black hair and eyes, and a more grown-up version of me who looks like he is a bleached version of myself in a white kimono for men." There, I said it, Urahara. Let's see your reaction to _that_.

Urahara seemed like he didn't even expect this outcome, since he outright fainted from that. Huh… who knew?

"Mister Kurosaki," Tessai rumbled from behind me, "could you please refrain from pulling that sort of stunt again?"

…mommy…

* * *

Fortunately, I wasn't beaten up by Tessai, proving that he was still a gentle giant in this universe. However, I had to worry about Masaki-kaa-san telling me about how she didn't want me to be too far gone from her sight. I mean, really, how am I supposed to do _anything_ with that sort of restriction?

Oh well… I don't want her to die on me, anyway, so I'll live with that restriction.

Now, half an hour later, I was walking home with Masaki-kaa-san to make sure that our new purchase would be kept safe at the house. Of course, the majority of the 'purchase' was actually hard candy for when Yuzu and Karin were old enough to eat candy in the first place. The only thing _not_ candy that we got from the Urahara Shoten? Um… yeah, I got the Asauchi that he let me use, for free. I wasn't allowed to undo the transformation Kido on it, mind, not until I was old enough to go to a dojo to learn how to use a sword properly.

As for what it was transformed into? I requested that the blade be turned into a bokken for training purposes. Of course, nobody else would know the truth behind it just yet. I didn't want to make it known that this was even a thing, especially since Soul Society was going to give everyone a lot of grief for it happening if they ever discovered the Asauchis being used in that way. I'm not going to let that happen in this timeframe… no way at all.

Of course, Urahara gave me a note to give Isshin-tou-san in reference to what happened earlier, because I wanted to find a way to explain what happened to the original Ichigo in such a way that it wouldn't be bad for the whole family. Then again, there was bound to be some cause for concern, especially if Isshin-tou-san did something that would put the whole family in jeopardy later on down the line. I didn't really think it'd make sense to get rid of their eldest, especially in regards to the whole 'Elder Siblings Come First To Protect Their Younger Siblings' routine that canon!Ichigo pulled off when facing Inoue Sora.

Now, what all am I supposed to be able to do with this information? I don't know how to best keep things from going down the drain, truly, but then again, here's hoping that nothing bad goes on while I'm still a child… did I just jinx it all of a sudden?

Suddenly, to my right, I saw a male Japanese Plus spirit attached by his chain to a house that was well-lived in from the looks of things. Normally, I'd do my best to ignore it, but then I noticed something about the house in question. On the sign post, the kanji and hiragana that read 'Sakurai' was displayed for all to see… and I could see a blonde woman walking along in the direction of the house... don't tell me… Sakurai Kei and her family live in Karakura Town?! I can't believe it!

As if summoned by my thoughts, the Plus spirit came walking up to my location and asked me, "Who are you, young man? Do you have ill intent towards the residents of this house?"

Jumping backwards and into Masaki-kaa-san, I cried out in surprise that the Plus was even giving me the time of day, though I don't know if the other Sakurai family members would even know what I'm dealing with. After all—

"Ichigo, what's wrong?" Masaki-kaa-san asked me. "It's not like there's a ghost in the area, is there?"

It took me a couple seconds of looking, before I drooped my head and sighed in dejection. This was _not_ going to end well. "Okaa-san," I said, "I think I see a man chained by his chest to the house here." I pointed in the general area of the Plus spirit, to give him some comfort, or so I think. "Is that normal?"

Masaki-kaa-san got in between me and the Plus spirit, before she turned and knelt down to face me. "Sweetie, it isn't normal for a regular human to see that sort of thing," she told me. "It's something of a curse, all things considered."

"You mean… I'm not going crazy?" I asked her.

Before anything else could happen, the Plus spirit guffawed in laughter, causing Masaki-kaa-san and I to look in his direction. It took at least fifteen seconds of laughing for him to calm down, before he said, "I'm sorry about that, you two. I'd been tasked with a lot of stuff in life, and most of that revolved around doing some crazy stuff that most people would hardly _dream_ of. I don't want my descendants to be caught in this mess any more than you want to be." He then bowed in greeting. "My name is Sakurai Musashi, formerly designated as seat number 2 of my organization."

I felt my eyes bugging out in response to his declaration. Oh, my _crap_ is this a bad thing to hear about! When thinking in terms of TV Tropes, this seems to qualify for Did You Just Have Tea With Cthulhu? in terms of how much of a mess this was going to be. My reason for this? Masaki-kaa-san and I were talking with the first person to be labeled Tubal Cain!

"Is that right?" Masaki-kaa-san asked him. "My name is Kurosaki Masaki, and this is my eldest, Ichigo. He's the only one to be old enough to handle going out on walks like this." She bowed to Musashi, before nudging me to do the same. "Come on, Ichigo, don't be scared."

I nodded to Masaki-kaa-san, before I bowed to the ghost of Tubal Cain. I didn't really feel up to continuing all of that any time soon, though, especially since I was sure the blonde woman was going to be showing up sooner than later and make us look like fools—

"**King, don't worry,"** Zangetsu told me. **"She's not even looking in your general direction."**

—and that is supposed to make this better _how_?

"**Simple, King,"** Zangetsu replied, as if I had actually said that to him. **"She doesn't know you're bowing to the man you seem to think went by the name Tubal Cain."**

That's because he _was_ Tubal Cain, back in World War II, Zangetsu.

"**You seem to know a lot about these things, King… could you please say how come, or is it not the right time yet?"**

…how do you even know what I'm even saying to myself like this? Wait, are you breaking the fourth wall?!

"**What's that?"** Zangetsu asked me. **"As for how I know, it's because I'm able to listen to your thoughts a lot better than you can keep them quiet."**

I feel like an idiot… ugh. Well, here's hoping nothing goes horribly wrong in this case. I mean, it's not like we'll be stuck with having to entertain the Sakurai family here, ri—?

"Excuse me, you two, who are you and what are you doing here?"

I jerked upright to see a young man who looked to be in his mid-teenage years, with Sakurai Kei's hair and eye coloring, only obviously a man because of his body shape and structure… oops. Did I just meet her big brother Kai? This doesn't bode well… does it?

"Ah, sorry," Masaki-kaa-san said to who had to be Kai, standing upright to do so. "It seems we're neighbors, but we never met before, have we?" With a cough into her hand, she said, "Good afternoon, my name is Kurosaki Masaki. This is my son, Ichigo." She gestured to me, to indicate that I was who she was talking about.

Kai looked at Masaki-kaa-san and I dubiously, or so I could tell, before he looked me in the eye, squatting down to do so. As if he were possibly chanting under his breath, he kept his gaze up and then performed a one-handed Buddhist Prayer gesture… wait a second, that's no Buddhist Prayer gesture, that's a one-handed seal like in _Naruto_!

"**King, get ready…"** Zangetsu told me all of a sudden. **"This guy feels completely off, as in—"**

With that, I was pulled into my Inner World, a feeling that was rather forced because of what was going on…

* * *

It didn't take me even a single second before I opened my eyes and saw that I was truly inside my Inner World, with a strange change in the atmosphere of the realm… it looked like I was inside a field of poison merged with what my Inner World looked like normally. How did… wait, I'm suddenly _taller_?!

I looked around myself, hoping to see what I was missing, before I discovered that I was my pre-Ichigo self… namely, about 5'8" in the Imperial system, wearing glasses, and wearing clothes that looked a lot out of place for a Japanese citizen. I also had my dark brown hair and hazel eyes, or so I could imagine, but then again—

"Who the hell are _you_?" Kai questioned me from behind, causing me to look and see him pointing and holding a giant broadsword-like weapon in his right hand… wait a damn second! Wewelsburg Longinus?! "Are you a corpse stealer? You sure don't _look_ like you're the little boy named Kurosaki Ichigo. Tell me the truth, unless you want to die a _painful_ death."

I gaped when he said that. How am I supposed to fight off against something like _this_?! Before I could cave in to the demand, however, I noticed something blurring into existence behind Kai… it was Zangetsu!

"**Drop the sword,"** he said, drawing his copy of a sealed Zanpakuto in his right hand. **"Do that, and we'll allow you to leave with your soul intact. Fail to comply…? Well, you'll not like the consequences."**

Kai looked like he had swallowed a whole lemon upon hearing that, before he spun around and swung Wewelsburg Longinus at Zangetsu, who parried the massive Ahnenerbe properly. "How many souls has the corpse stealer got under his will?" he growled.

Zangetsu laughed like a lunatic when he heard that. **"You really think I'm supposed to be an enslaved soul?"** he questioned when he got the laughs out of his system. **"Don't make me **_**laugh**_**!"** As he said that, his copy of a Zanpakuto swung towards Kai's right arm, as if intent on chopping it off.

Kai simply dodged to his left, before he swung Wewelsburg Longinus up to try connecting with Zangetsu… with the predictable result of Zangetsu dodging. "Who are you?!" he roared at Zangetsu. "No human soul is supposed to be this good without a lot of instinct and experience on their side—"

"**You want to know who I am, huh?"** Zangetsu questioned. **"Well, if you can't hear my name, it's your fault for not being attuned to me properly."** With that, I heard Zangetsu say his name, but a few seconds passed by before he continued speaking. **"You're a fool, boy,"** he added.

"What…?" Kai let out, before he growled angrily and attempted to slice Zangetsu's head off, only for the Zanpakuto spirit to block. "Why can't I hear your name?!"

"**Simple,"** Zangetsu said. **"You're in an Inner World that doesn't belong to you. You can only hear the name of your own Zanpakuto when the time comes."**

"Zanpakuto…?" Kai asked. "Don't you mean Ahnenerbe? I already _know_ the name of my Ahnenerbe, Wewelsburg Longinus, yo—"

"**No, I meant Zanpakuto, you idiot,"** Zangetsu interrupted. **"Zanpakuto don't like it when outsiders like you enter their users Inner Worlds. With that said, kindly take a **_**hike**_**, will ya, you creep?!"**

Before Zangetsu could banish Kai, however, I spoke up. "Hold up, both of you," I walked up to Kai. "My name is Samuel," I told him, "though I'm currently known as Ichigo because I don't know why I'm even here and how to best explain this to my current life's mother. You?"

"**King, you're walking a dangerous road here,"** Zangetsu said.

I looked Zangetsu in the eye, before I smirked. "Relax, will ya?" I asked. "I'm aware of the risks. I just want to offer the olive branch to this guy first."

Kai sighed a few seconds after hearing what I had to say. "Sakurai Kai. I'm a member of what is called the Longinus Dreizehn Orden, better known by the normal people as the Lost Battalion. My position is second seat, and my Demonic Name is Tubal Cain…" He then looked at me square in the eyes. "It seems like you know that about me. How do you know this?"

…crap. How do I explain this without giving myself away?

"**King here is **_**probably**_** from a world where we're fictional, bub,"** Zangetsu told Kai, unaware of the look of horror that seemed to be mounting on my face. **"After all, he knows what I am, and is not afraid of me one bit."**

Kai looked at me in shock, before looking at Zangetsu with the same expression. With a sigh, he said, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's not every day this sort of thing happens, but I'm pretty used to it by now."

I really don't know what else I should even say here, but I do know that this required some fine tuning to prevent him leaving his sister alone with Tri… fa… uh-oh.

"Listen, mister Sakurai," I said. "I became a big brother three months ago in this life. If there's anything I can do as a big brother for your benefit, please, tell me… alright?"

Kai looked at me for a few seconds, a look of contemplation on his face, before he nodded. "I want to keep my little sister Kei out of the role of Tubal Cain when I die," he said, a look of finality on his face. "Can you promise me that?"

"Even better," I said, what had to be a shit-eating grin on my face. "I can keep her out of the Order as well, should you so desire, at least."

Kai's expression changed to that of a boy who had just been told Christmas was coming early… by nine, six, and three months. "You mean it?" he asked me.

I nodded, before I said, "I'll do that at the cost of my life if I have to. Willing to trust me?"

Kai nodded at that, before my Inner World restored itself, the patches of poison going away as Kai left the place in a burst of particles… Reishi?

"**Correct, King,"** Zangetsu told me (much to my surprise, as I jumped out of my skin, more or less). **"That's Reishi."**

Ugh… here goes nothing. I'm headed back to the realm of the waking now. I'll be back in this place sooner or later, Zangetsu.

"**You'd better, King,"** Zangetsu said as I faded from my Inner World. **"Don't want to be lonely here without any chance of a fight."**

Before I could try getting Zangetsu to elaborate, I had already left, leaving me curious what he was trying to say to me.

* * *

Upon opening my eyes back up, I noticed that Kai was in front of me, and that I was in my current body to live in. How that happened, I have no idea, and I frankly don't want to know just yet. In any event, it had to be the most ridiculous moment in my entire life, me being the way I am now.

Kai suddenly stood up from his crouching position, leaving his posture the way it was supposed to be, before he said to Masaki-kaa-san, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Missus Kurosaki, Ichigo-kun. My name is Sakurai Kai. I live here with my little sister, Kei, and my best friend, Beatrice." I gave a pointed stare at Musashi, Kai's great-grandfather, that the latter caught onto. "You can see him?" he asked.

"Yeah, both of us can," I answered, shrugging in indifference. "Been that way since I was born, if not sooner for mama's case." Kai promptly fainted when he heard that. "Uh… did I say something wrong?" I asked Masaki-kaa-san.

"No, I don't think so," she said. "I think you're alright."

Musashi cleared his throat at that exact moment. "I'll let him know what's going on later," he said. "For now, please return when you get a chance. I want to surprise Kai's little sister with a playmate, so to speak, and I'm certain he'll like it if Kei could play with someone around her age."

I nodded in agreement, before looking at Masaki-kaa-san. "Okaa-san?" I asked.

"I agree," she said, "but we'll need to talk with Kai about this when he's awake later. I hope that this doesn't become a problem for all of us here."

Musashi nodded, before he leapt up to the top of the gate where he could sit, allowing us to leave properly.

* * *

A few minutes later, we got home, and just in time for me to see Isshin-tou-san leaving the clinic to go somewhere… wait. He was still wearing his doctor's uniform. What gives?

"Isshin, what's the matter?" Masaki-kaa-san called out to him.

Isshin-tou-san looked at Masaki-kaa-san and I before he gave out a sigh of relief. "Thank the kami that you're alright, Masaki, Ichigo," he said. "I was worried that you both were abducted or something."

…abducted? He seriously thought we were _abducted_?!

"Honey, we weren't abducted," Masaki-kaa-san said. "We went over to the Urahara Shoten."

"Huh?!" Isshin-tou-san gaped out. "What did Kisuke-san request of you two for?!"

At this point, I handed him the note that was supposed to explain what went down, though I didn't read it yet. It wasn't as if I lacked trying, mind you, it was because Kisuke kept writing in Korean of all things… how did he even _know_ how to write Korean?

Isshin-tou-san took the note and said, "Thanks, Ichigo." With that, he opened the note and began reading the Korean text, before he looked at me with raised eyebrows. "You didn't catch what he wrote, did you?" he asked me.

I shook my head, saying, "Not for lack of trying… I can't understand the language used."

Isshin-tou-san nodded, a look of understanding on his face. "I'm glad, Ichigo," he said. "It would be a major hassle in that case." He seemed to notice something about Masaki-kaa-san, because he said to her, "It's nothing serious, dear. I'll explain later." With that, he folded the note and headed back to the house, Masaki-kaa-san and I in tow.

* * *

It turned into a stressful few days at the house, what with Isshin-tou-san and Masaki-kaa-san having to deal with what they eventually learned, but they still wanted to keep me as their eldest child. I was eternally grateful for that, but the mess that came out of it was… frankly, quite annoying for me. It would prove to be a good thing I'm technically an adult in a child's body, since they were worried that I hadn't gotten the Birds and the Bees yet, especially when I had to help give Yuzu and Karin baths during that time… ugh. Good thing I was given express freedom from that task after the first time.

Still, it was about time for me to get ready for school, or the equivalent for those under the age of Kindergarten in Japan. I'd been doing well so far, obviously, but I'm having trouble not falling back onto my old habits of being a loner by nature. I did mention that I was born Autistic originally, didn't I? Well, not like the Japanese know how to truly deal with mental health issues… best to disguise the effects on my end.

…speaking of school efforts, I needed to figure out how to get Ren-chan out of my Inner World, and in such a way as to bring her to preschool with me. I have to wonder how I'm supposed to do that, however, since… wait. I forgot the chant from earlier this week!

Okay, time to relax… there'll be time to pull this one off after I get out of preschool this week. In fact… wait, is it just me, or am I hearing Masaki-kaa-san calling for me from downstairs?

"Ichigo, please come downstairs so that you can have your breakfast sooner than later, dear."

It's not me… okay, time to get downstairs to do this. I walk on down the stairs after ensuring my clothes are on… and then I notice the strange addition of a girl about my age who looks vaguely familiar at the dining table… where did I see this girl's features before? Who is she, and why is she so familiar?

"Ah, good, you're ready for breakfast," Masaki-kaa-san said to me. "Might I introduce you to Sakurai Kei-chan?"

I tripped over practically nothing by the time I heard that question.

* * *

**A/N: Finish!**

**Now, to address the review corner again, here we go.**

_**Huh. Rather interesting.**_

_**Well, Urahara's involved, now. This is gonna be interesting. As in 'May you live in interesting times.' ~Takeshi Yamato (Chapter 1)**_

**You can say ****that**** again… ugh. Please note that I'm not quite able to live up to expectations on how crazy this is going to be, unless those expectations are quite low, to be sure.**

_**Good chapter. ~edboy4926 (Chapter 1)**_

**Thank you. I hope you're learning a fair bit about the second source material being used here?**

_**Hmm, nice beginning! I look forward to seeing how this develops, and possibly makes things better than canon Bleach! ~Lily Nadesico (Prologue)**_

**Thanks, Lily, I appreciate the words of encouragement. Also, yes, I plan to make this better than Bleach canon by a long shot. No doubt about it.**

**Okay, got to get the next chapter started, guys. Stay frosty for me, will ya, everyone?**

**Until we meet again… farewell.  
~Xamusel**

**PS: Thank you, Gabriel Herrol, for giving me the proper French for the statement up above.**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Now, this chapter was a long time coming, mainly because I have school to deal with these days. I want to actually get this closer to done as much as possible, that's for sure, but that's likely not to happen just yet. Ugh… well, apart from the delay on this chapter's writing and uploading, I've been busy in life with stuff other than school. My job also takes precedence in times like this. Please understand that about my life.**

**No, I'm not gonna give this story up, not by a long shot. Just keep in mind that I've been busy lately. With that said, I'll be working on this more, to give everyone a fair idea what I'm planning for this whole story.**

**Oh, right, there's supposed to be red text within this chapter… that can't be loaded on FFN for some odd reason. Those of you who read this off of FFN will know that the red text is pretty important. Just a heads up for everyone here.**

**Okay, on with the story, then. The review corner is in the bottom of the chapter like usual, everyone. Now… The Wheel Of Fate Is Turning. Rebel 1, **_**Action!**_

* * *

**Day of Bleach**  
_by Xamusel_

* * *

Chapter 3: A Museum of Death?

* * *

It was two days since Sakurai Kei became part of the Kurosaki family household (and since I made a fool of myself when meeting her for the first time… ouch). Among other things, I learned that she was taking lessons in how to defend herself with a weapon of her own design, namely her Relic from the canonical timeline of Dies Irae. Of course, before she can use her Relic, she needs to know how to hold a sword like a bokken without injuring herself.

Now, I was getting ready for the day as a Preschool student, and I was prepared to bring Ren into the realm of the living in her own body… though there was _something_ I might have been forgetting. Something about a joint field trip? I hope I can remember what it was all about.

"Ichigo, Kei-chan, it's time for breakfast," Masaki-kaa-san called from downstairs. "After breakfast, it'll be time to head to Preschool for the joint field trip to the museum in Namimori."

I gulped audibly at that. Wasn't that where Ren was supposed to go to earlier? For that matter, will Dying Will Flames even take a part in this life? It's gotten hectic enough with just Reishi, Reiryouku, Reiatsu and whatever powers the Die Ewigkeit ability, so to add in Dying Will Flames of all things, as much as I love a good multicrossover? This is not one of those times when it'd be sensible. Still, with nothing else I can do about the matter, I hoofed it over to getting out of the house sooner than later.

As I reached the breakfast table, I saw that Isshin-tou-san was reading the newspaper at his seat, before I decided to figure out what he was reading in the news. "Daddy, what's going on in the news today?" I asked him.

Isshin-tou-san looked in my direction briefly before he said, "Well, son, it seems that there's a flu epidemic going on around the country. I want you to stay safe, obviously, but I can't administer the vaccine on you myself." He handed me a portion of the newspaper that he was already done with, so it seemed. "Here, you can see for yourself what I mean."

Taking the portion of the newspaper that I was offered, I looked for the article in question, before I saw that it was a headline in the front page. "Okay, I'm seeing it," I said. As I read the whole thing, I realized that a lot of people were getting ridiculously sick from the Flu Virus… which made me wonder what was really going on, anyway. "Daddy, what's really going on here?" I asked.

Isshin-tou-san chuckled as he heard that. "So, you noticed, did you?" he asked me. "Good, that'll make things easier to explain for you, then." He coughed into his right hand before he continued, "It's a case of immense poison that's being spread around, though nobody knows where that poison's coming from. It's likely a supernatural cause, but from what, we don't know yet."

I sighed in annoyance when I heard that. It seemed likely that Tubal Cain II, AKA Sakurai Rei, was causing trouble for the whole country. I hope I'm wrong about how Tubal Cain's formed here…

"Aww…" Masaki-kaa-san cooed at the two of us, which seemed really strange to me at first. "The two men of the house are sharing a newspaper to read together. Cute!"

I facepalmed. "Momma…" I groaned.

* * *

Eventually, the time came for the Preschool class to head to Namimori by bus. In that time, I had managed to figure out when to get Ren outside of my soulscape. I was going to do it shortly after I got back from Namimori, which would mean about 1530 that afternoon. It was a good thing, too, because I really wanted to make sure that she had her own body as soon as possible. As for the where of the mission…? I didn't know entirely the answer to that. I mean, there had to be an alleyway _somewhere_, right?

Anyway, the point of this was, I needed to get out of Preschool at the right time and be home in time to give Ren her own body. Nothing else would suffice for this whatsoever.

Now, with that settled, I was on the bus to see this museum exhibit that everyone voted on when I thought I was being watched by something or some_one_. I looked around to see who was watching me, before I gave a sigh of despondency when I didn't see anyone… until I realized that this someone was probably behind me. Then I paled in horror as I looked backwards, seeing that I was seated in the back of the bus, at the direct middle of the row. I saw a white snake floating in the sky, and not just _any_ white snake, but a snake with no tail and _two heads_! I barely contained the scream of horror when I saw the Mercurial Snake in the sky… although, when I blinked next, he vanished.

…suddenly, I'm not looking forward to this field trip. Is the Bois de Justice going to show up at this exhibit any time soon?

* * *

…it's official. This exhibit is beginning to look like the one from 2006, over in Suwahara City in the canonical Dies Irae. This is proving to be the most ridiculous thing I've seen so far. It would be better if we'd chosen a different museum at this point.

Still, why do I have the distinct feeling that I've seen this whole thing somewhere before? I don't remember being in Namimori before now, so what gives?

…damn my incomplete knowledge of Dies Irae. Why did I have to be inserted into a fusion of Bleach and Dies Irae?

Still, no help for it, not right now. I needed to figure out why I was here in the Swords of the World exhibition of all things… oh, wait, that's because my classmates and I were being idiots about it. Ugh…

"Excuse me," a little girl about my age spoke up next to me, causing me to look in her direction… well, her and her friend's direction, at least. She had a separate little girl hanging out with her at the time. "Are you from Karakura Town?" At my nod, she continued, "Ah, that's good. My name's Ayase Kasumi, and this is Sawada Setsuna."

If a vinyl record was playing right then, I'm sure a scratch track would've been more than appropriate. Uh-oh…

"We were wondering…" Kasumi continued, unaware of my thoughts, "We were wondering if you would be willing to play with us after this exhibit's done showing us kids around?"

It took me a bit to realize what was going on. "You're bored, aren't you?" I asked for clarification. Upon seeing the two of them nod, I sighed and drooped my head momentarily. "Okay, we'll play together—" I was almost drowned out by the imminent cheering the two had to give, so I held my hand up to stop them. "—on the condition that we pay attention to what's being said here. After all, who knows when this stuff will be important later?"

With that, the two of them nodded in understanding, from what I could tell. Well, can't be picky about this, can I?

"Okay, let's explore the exhibition, then," Setsuna said. "I'll help us stay out of trouble with my trusty intuition, which has yet to give me bad advice."

…ugh. Is this rendition of the universe _trying_ to give me a migraine?

Well, with nothing else for us to do, we started exploring the area. It wasn't as if I was unaware of what things were, though, since I felt the ever-growing sense of déjà vu all over again when coming into the area. However… I was hopeful that something new would show up here.

…be careful what you wish for, and all that, right? Good grief.

* * *

About half an hour after the three of us met for the first time, I was getting ready to use the toilet, especially since I hadn't used it since leaving for Preschool… ugh. "Sorry, girls, I need to toilet," I told the two of them. "I hope you don't mind me doing that." With a shake of their heads, I saw the confirmation that I needed to go toilet.

A few seconds later, I went to the toilet, though my Preschool teacher insisted on escorting me to the restroom. When I reached the restroom, I hurried to a urinal and unzipped my pants, taking care of all that I needed to do there. It wasn't often that I had to go _that_ bad….

Eventually, I was on my way to meeting with Kasumi and Setsuna, so that the three of us could finish exploring the exhibits properly. Nothing was going to ruin the mood proper for this, so—

"Ichigo-san!" Setsuna cried out when she saw me again. "Do you know where Kasumi-chan went?"

—open mouth, insert foot once again.

"I don't, no," I told Setsuna with a shake of my head. "However, I'll find her, I promise you that."

A few seconds later, I was about to pass a hallway that seemed to be closed from the general public when—

**Come and find my gift to thee, you who house Zarathustra.**

—!

I spun fast enough to look at the hallway in question, looking for whoever said that to me, before I did something that no sane person would ever consider doing in my shoes. I walked right into the hallway. Granted, I still had my Asauchi on hand for if something was beyond my skill level without it, but still….

Walking into the room at the end of the hallway, I gulped when I saw the Bois de Justice itself in the flesh, its sheer size enough to give me goosebumps. Ugh… this doesn't bode well. I wasn't sure what I was going to get out of this, but I figured I would be better off bolting as soon as possible, so—

"Please… me…"

—I stiffened in shock. Who the _hell_ said—

"Time is… out fast…"

—okay, I had no idea who was talking, but it wouldn't do anyone any good for me to ignore this. "What's wrong?" I asked. "How can I help you out?"

Suddenly, the spirit of Marie floated out of the Bois de Justice, leaving me to look like a fish out of water. "You can see me, can you not?" she asked me. "Please, help me retrieve a child your age from slavery. Time is running out for saving her… please, you must hurry to stop the slaver from enslaving her."

I nodded when I heard that, before I told her, "I'll do it. I just need to know where to find her."

Marie nodded, before pointing at a doorway that was to the left of the Bois de Justice itself… hold on. _That_ wasn't there before! "Enter through there…" she told me, before the guillotine blade started to glow white. "I will grant thee my power to save this child."

Blinking in surprise, I saw that the blade began fusing into me, allowing me to use the basic abilities of Die Ewigkeit as devised by Mercurius… Assiah. Of course, I needed to develop Yetzirah at my own rate, unless something really stupid were to happen.

As far as what Assiah was supposed to do, it was supposed to be a basic implementation of a Holy Relic, namely the slicing power of the Bois de Justice… oddly enough, I didn't have any idea what I was supposed to do with this power, other than save Ayase Kasumi from whoever was going to enslave her. This just proved to be utterly ridiculous.

"Hurry, young one," Marie told me. "Time is running out."

With a nod, I rushed over to the door and opened it, lea—

"Where are you going, Ichigo-kun?"

—I turned to face the person who spoke to me, who turned out to be Kei. "I'm going to rescue a native of Namimori," I told her. "You want in?"

Kei looked at me as if I had grown a second head, before she sighed a few moments later. "I guess you can't fight your name, can you, Ikki?" she asked me. "I'll help you out, Number One Guardian, though you owe me ice cream after this."

…Ikki? That's a new one. "Okay, then," I nodded as we prepared to go through the door. "Ladies first, and all that."

With that, we rushed into the doorway, leaving it open for our escape route. It wouldn't do to be stranded on the other side, now, would it?

…how stupid of us.

* * *

When we reached the other side of the mysterious passageway that we went down to get there, we were quick to find a way to keep the door open as long as possible, namely with a door jammer that was left for us. Naturally, with us being kids, we did our absolute best to prevent anyone from undoing the jammer as much as possible. It seemed like a good idea, honestly, and it was one we needed to apply for our safe return.

"Alright," I said, taking stock of the situation. "We're in a hallway with white walls, burgundy carpets, and a white ceiling… why does the architecture fill me with dread?"

"I'm not sure, Ikki," Kei told me. "However, we need to hurry up, as who knows what sort of creeps are here—"

A man clearing his throat caught our attention. "Are you kids lost?" he asked, prompting us to look at him. White clothes that looked like a Nazi uniform… uh-oh. I looked up to see his face. Green eyes, piercings on his ears in opposing corners, and a red mohawk? Oh shit… Bazzard Black?! "I hope you are… this place is rather spooky for those of you who wander too far in without guidance."

Before I could say anything to diffuse the situation, Kei said to him, "We're looking for someone, mister…?"

"Oh, right, not that many children know me here in Silbern," Bazzard Black said. "I'm Bazz-B, commonly known as Sternritter H, The Heat. What about you?"

Yep… we're doomed. Didn't think Yhwach was going to kidnap Ayase Kasumi, or at least order it while he was still in his coma… wait, what?!

"I'm Sakurai Kei, and my friend here is Ku—"

"Minami Itsuki," I said, making up an alias right off the bat. After all, it wasn't like they could detect me having Zangetsu within my soulscape, could they? I also wasn't able to use the Quincy powers of Masaki-kaa-san, anyway, so there's that…

Bazz-B looked at the two of us with a bit of surprise, before he asked, "How did you get into Silbern? I mean, you two are still supposed to be in the world of the living, right?"

I jerked my thumb to the doorway. "Does that answer your question, sir?" I asked in return.

Bazz-B looked at the doorway. "Strange…" he said. "How did that doorway show up?" With a shrug, he said, "Well, at least you're able to go home after looking for who you need to. Who are you looking for?"

"A girl from Namimori named Ayase Kasumi," I told him. "Her friend lost track of her earlier today."

Bazz-B put a hand to his chin for a few seconds. "I need a physical description of her, kids," he said. "I might have seen her earlier, but I don't know for sure."

"Well, she's yay tall," I said, gesturing my hand to be a few centimeters below my height currently, "has auburn hair, blue eyes, and is wearing a green and blue striped dress. Have you seen her?"

"Actually, yes, I have," Bazz-B said. "I was talking with Jugo earlier when we both saw a Soldat leading her over to an unused bedroom. I wonder why she was even here?" After a bit, he said, "Look, kids, I can imagine you need to return her home as soon as possible, but could you please stay the night here? I don't have it in me to send you packing when you came here to rescue someone, but I also know that it'll be late by the time you get home now, anyway."

Kei and I looked at each other for a few seconds. We nodded to each other. I turned to Bazz-B. "We'll do it," I answered.

Bazz-B sighed in relief when he heard that. "Good," he answered. "I won't force you to undergo the training required to stay here, though that might be a problem for the others when they hear about this."

I nodded. "Okay, mister," I said. "We'll be sure to help keep this secret."

"Thanks, kids," Bazz-B said. He then turned to face the direction right of the doorway. "Follow me." He then proceeded to head down the hallway.

Kei and I looked at each other for a bit, before she asked me, "Minami Itsuki?"

"I needed an alias."

* * *

Eventually, the two of us made it to a bedroom with two beds, though they were bunkbeds at that. I was especially glad that we had bunkbeds for our use here, because it'd be especially awkward for us at our age to see each other naked. After all, kids our age were not supposed to be… well… that'd be TMI, I suppose.

"Okay, kids," Bazz-B said to us. "Here's your temporary room. Be sure to choose who gets to sleep where, alright?" At our nods, he left us to see what was inside the bedroom, which we needed to do with the door closed.

When we closed the door behind us, Kei asked me, "Where did the alias come from? I don't recall any fictional names along those lines."

…well, at least I know that Air Gear wasn't created at this point in time. Now, how do I tell her about that manga?

"Ikki?"

Okay, no time like the present. "I'm unsure if you know of the existence of the multiverse," I said.

"Oh, I'm aware of the multiverse theory," Kei told me. "I have to be in order to do my duties later on." She then gave me a serious look. "Are you saying that you're not from around here?"

I sighed deeply. "My body's from around here, but my soul is not," I told her. "It's a rather hard concept to wrap my head around, I'll say that outright, but—"

"It doesn't matter," Kei said. "You'll still be Ikki to me, regardless."

I sighed in relief when I heard that. "Thanks, Kei-chan," I said, bowing to her in the Japanese style.

"Wh-what are you _doing_, Ikki?!" Kei cried out. "You're acting really weird right now, you know that?"

I undid the bow at that point, placing my right hand at the back of my neck. "Sorry about that," I said, scratching the back of my neck. "I'm unused to this sort of dialogue, y'know?"

Kei nodded in understanding. "So… your alias?" she asked me.

I removed my hand from the back of my neck. "It's from a manga and anime series that might not even be out yet called Air Gear. I only know of it because it came out where I originate from while I was still in my old body."

Kei nodded at that. "Okay, I see," she said. "So, how old would you be in the year 1994 back in your home?"

"I would've turned 3 on the 22nd of October," I told her. "However, given that my fifth birthday is listed as July 15th, I guess that would make things especially difficult to accept."

Wait, come to think of it, why didn't I join a dojo yet? I know it's important for me to meet Arisawa Tatsuki… or is it? I dunno… I guess I'll have to ask mama and daddy to sign me up for training later.

"I see…" Kei said. "Well, here's hoping we can rescue the poor normal girl who has been taken from her friend."

I could only nod in agreement at what Kei said… before it hit me. "Ugh…" I groaned with a facepalm. "How are we supposed to find Kasumi-san before she gets turned into a Quincy, and before our legal guardians try storming the place to track us down?"

Kei blinked a few times in what just _had_ to be a cute way for someone like me. "Uh…" she drawled on me… and I thought the Japanese _didn't_ drawl like that! "Well, here's hoping that the Quincy don't do anything stupid…" She then gained a serious glint. "Wait, how do you know what they're called?"

"Remember my explanation about where the alias Minami Itsuki came from?" I asked Kei.

"Yeah, but—" she then gained a thoughtful pose to go with her serious glint. "Okay, point."

I nodded when she acquiesced the point. "Yeah, I thought you'd understand," I said. "In any case, you want to take the top bunk, or do you want _me_ to take it?"

Kei stopped her thinking pose at that point. "I'll take the top bunk, Ikki," she said. "Now, let's get to sleep…" she gave off a mighty yawn. "Before we go to bed, though, we need sleepwear."

"Yeah, we do need sleepwear," I admitted. "However, I do wonder how we'll get temporary sleepwear here when we're not supposed to be in Silbern to begin with. Do you have any clues, Kei-chan?"

A few seconds passed, before I saw that Kei was blushing rather heavily. However, when she was about to open her mouth to speak, there was a knock at the door.

"I know you're there, kids," a male voice said from the other side of the door. "Bazz-B told me where to find you. Are you still decent?"

I walked over to the door, opened it slightly enough for him to see my left eye, and asked, "What would happen either way?"

"If you think I'm not in on your rescue operation, you're mistaken," the man said. "Bazz-B wanted to make sure that nothing went wrong with you two… especially since you'll be staying the night here for tonight. The sleepwear you want is in the closet at the other side of the bunk bed, with the male sleepwear on the left. Make sure you sleep with your normal clothes under your sheets, so that you can keep them clean when you get home." With that, the man walked away from the door, only to pause when he seemed to have thought of something. "Oh, right, my name is Jugram Haschwalth," he said, turning to face the door once again. "Please remember that." With that, he walked away, for real now.

…what the heck was _that_ all about?

* * *

**A/N: FINISH!**

…**what, indeed. I don't think anyone could say that they saw **_**that**_** coming, right?**

**Still, I am a bit on a time crunch with regards to my classwork right now. I want to make sure that I have the homework all done by the end of the quarter. Therefore, I might end up going AWOL for a bit of time to focus on schoolwork.**

**On that note, I have some news for everyone. For those of you who may or may not know, I'm a multicrossover fan in my own right. However, due to circumstances outside of my control, I tend to make things even more chaotic than they should be with my own multicrossovers. Now, what does that mean for this story? It means that I'm preparing this to be a multicrossover story… with a lot of deliberation about the whole thing.**

**With that said—**

**…**

**…**

**…oops. I forgot to say this sooner. I actually have a page for those of you who wish to support me in that way. I am not going to go out of my way to force any of you to be my Patron, though help is always appreciated, to be sure.**

***ahem* Now, let's get back on track here, shall we? On to answering reviews.**

_**Well, this is definitely getting interesting in the Chinese sense.**_

_**Please be aware that I'm only knowledgeable on the Bleach side of things. I won't be able to give feedback on the other side of the crossover.**_

_**Also, I'm going to switch to my normal review habits now - as in, I will only review if I find something I personally find the need to comment on. ~Takeshi Yamato**_

**Okay, that's a good point, man. I understand what you mean, too, since we know each other pretty well. I apologize for trying to get you to review more than you should.**

_**Good chapter ~edboy4926**_

**Thanks for the support… and I wish I could update a lot sooner than this at times.**

**Now, I'd better get back to writing for my English class… ugh. I feel like a dolt, too. I have a lot on my plate as it is already, and I'm adding more and more to the plate without proper procedure to give me a reprieve? Ugh… this is just stupid of me.**

**Until we meet again… farewell.  
~Xamusel**

**PS: For those of you familiar with the Masada-verse as a whole, please try to guess who the first interlude is about. I will give you a digital cookie for the first correct guess on the subject.**

**PPS: Yes, the interlude is the next chapter to be written, to be sure. Please keep in mind that I'll be busy with other stuff for a while, sadly… but I'm planning on getting my stuff together for this to work.**


End file.
